MY DESPERATION FOR A 'MRS' TITLE (3)
Raymond got back to the house drunk.
I was furious and screamed; “How dare you lock me inside?”
He dragged my hair without hesitation, and gave hot blows and punches that left me with bruises.
Lying helplessly on the floor. Thinking about how spiritual attacks has won the battle over my marriage…
I began to pray. I ask that Raymond had a change of attitude.
Weeks into months… the hitting and beatings continued. I couldn't tell anyone.
I was ashamed to talk to even my Mum. I avoided friends and families.
On Sundays when I have to be in Church, I would wear heavy makeup to conceal the bruises on my face.
I was suffering and smiling.
I couldn't leave. Nowhere to go. The remaining cash I had in my account has been collected by him with my ATM card.
The only thing he does is fuel the Car, so I can be in Church on Sunday to avoid anyone from suspecting anything.
He moved from staying out late to bringing his side chics into our matrimonial home.
I became a maid in my own house, our home.
Then one night, I cried out; “Lord, why have you forsaken me?”
“Why did you allow spiritual attacks win over my home?”
After wetting my pillow with tears, I didn't know when I slept.
In the course of my sleep…
It seems more like a movie. Everything that happened before my wedding began to play.
The red signals, I overlooked. My desperation. The fear of being mocked.
If only I could turn back the hands of time.
Then, the boldness to walk out of that marriage before he kills me came upon me.
And, that was the beginning of my freedom.
After he left for the office at daybreak.
I packed my luggage and left for my Mum's house.
I narrated all to her. She was upset. Yet, weeping.
Mum wanted to get him arrested and all sorts.
But, I pleaded. I still loved him.
I never knew Raymond could be so heartless. He didn't even come to look for me.
Four days later, he came looking for me. Apologised and requested I followed him back home.
Thanks to my Mum who threatened to get him arrested if he didn't leave.
Many calls. Different messages. He wanted me back.
Mum didn't allow such happened.
Instead, she saw to my relocation. I finally left the country.
Four years of my life wasted with the wrong man in the wrong marriage.
I wished I had listened when God showed me the danger ahead.
If I could be calm enough to discern. Probably, I won't have made such costly mistakes.
I realised we can't change anyone except they are willing to couple with the help of God.
Sincerely, it's better for people to mock you for a few days than to live in pains and agony for years.
I wondered what would have become of me if my Mum wasn't alive or financially capable to finance my travelling for a better life.
Today, I'm doing fine in the States. Have a great Job. But, still single.
I no longer believe in love and marriage.